To engage your reader, it's important to always show not tell the traits of your characters. The character trait "Exhausting" refers to individuals who are mentally and physically draining to be around due to their constant need for attention, validation, or help. These individuals may also be demanding, controlling, or manipulative, causing those around them to feel drained and depleted.

Possible causes of being exhausting

You might want to weave these into your character's back story to build a more believable character.

• They may have a perfectionist tendency, always striving for excellence and never being satisfied with their achievements.
• They may have a tendency to take on too much, either out of a sense of obligation or a desire to prove themselves.
• They may have a high level of anxiety, constantly worrying about things and feeling stressed out.
• They may be people-pleasers, always putting others' needs before their own and feeling drained as a result.
• They may be overthinkers, analyzing every situation and overanalyzing their own thoughts and emotions.
• They may have a competitive nature, always trying to outdo others and pushing themselves to their limits.
• They may have a strong sense of responsibility, feeling like they always have to be in control and taking on more than they can handle.

Behaviors associated with being exhausting

You may be able to show your character's trait of exhausting by using these.

• Being controlling or manipulative
• Constantly talking or interrupting others
• Being high-maintenance or overly needy
• Ignoring others' boundaries or personal space
• Making others feel guilty for not meeting their demands
• Making decisions for others without their input
• Being overly dramatic or emotional
• Neglecting to listen or consider others' perspectives
• Demanding attention or constant validation

Attitudes associated with being exhausting

You may be able to show exhausting through their attitudes.

• Difficulty in letting others speak or have a say
• Inability to compromise or see other perspectives
• Self-centeredness
• Constant need for stimulation and activity
• Lack of awareness of others' needs and feelings
• Impulsiveness and restlessness
• Overbearing and controlling behavior
• Need for attention and validation

Thoughts and struggles associated with being exhausting

Here are some ideas for things your exhausting character may think or struggle with.

• Feeling unproductive or lazy despite efforts to work hard
• Frustration and disappointment with oneself for not being able to keep up with others
• Fear of missing out on experiences or opportunities due to fatigue
• A constant feeling of fatigue and physical exhaustion
• Difficulty in focusing on tasks due to lack of energy
• Struggling to maintain personal relationships due to limited energy and time
• Resentment towards others who don't understand the struggle of being exhausted
• Feeling guilty for needing to take breaks or rest periods
• Difficulty in prioritizing tasks and responsibilities due to limited energy reserves

Emotions associated with being exhausting

Here are some ideas for emotions your exhausting character may experience.

• Overwhelming
• Frustrating
• Draining
• Intense
• Annoying
• Irritating
• Demanding
• Tiring
• Overbearing

Facial expressions associated with being exhausting

Here are some facial expressions your exhausting character may exhibit.

• Lack of eye contact
• Frown lines
• Heavy eyelids
• Yawning frequently
• Deep sighs
• Glazed-over eyes
• Drooping mouth corners
• Eye rubbing
• Slumped posture
• Rubbing temples
• Restless movements
• Pursed lips

Body language associated with being exhausting

Here is some body language your exhausting character may exhibit.

• Slow or lethargic movements
• Slumping or drooping posture
• Heavy breathing or panting
• Avoiding eye contact
• Fidgeting or restlessness
• Rubbing eyes or face
• Leaning on or gripping nearby objects for support
• Yawning frequently
• Sweating or flushed skin

Behaviors associated with being exhausting

Here are some behaviors your exhausting character may exhibit.

• Making decisions for others without their input
• Neglecting to listen or consider others' perspectives
• Constantly talking or interrupting others
• Demanding attention or constant validation
• Making others feel guilty for not meeting their demands
• Being high-maintenance or overly needy
• Ignoring others' boundaries or personal space
• Being controlling or manipulative
• Being overly dramatic or emotional

Growth and evolution of exhausting characters

Here are some ways that your exhausting character may grow and evolve over time.

• Embrace vulnerability and allow themselves to ask for help or support when needed
• Realize the importance of self-care and make time for rest and relaxation
• Learn to delegate tasks and trust others to handle certain responsibilities
• Develop better coping mechanisms and stress management techniques to prevent burnout
• Discover new passions or hobbies that provide a sense of fulfillment and balance
• Recognize the negative impact their behavior has on themselves and others and work to change it
• Learn to prioritize and manage their time more effectively to avoid overcommitting
• Build stronger relationships with others by being more present and engaged
• Become more assertive in setting boundaries and saying no when necessary

Stereotypes of exhausting characters to avoid

Try to avoid writing stereotypical exhausting character like these examples.

• The constantly complaining character who never takes action to solve their problems
• The overly dramatic character who exaggerates every situation
• The passive-aggressive character who uses manipulation to get their way
• The perfectionist character who is never satisfied with anything
• The overly critical character who constantly judges others
• The selfish character who only thinks about their own needs and desires
• The stubborn character who refuses to listen to reason
• The workaholic character who neglects other important aspects of their life
• The indecisive character who can never make up their mind

Negatives of being exhausting

Here are some potential negatives of being exhausting. Note: These are subjective and some might also be seen as positives depending on the context.

• Tendency to dominate conversations and not allow others to speak or contribute
• Creating a sense of annoyance or frustration in those around them
• Creating stress and tension in group or social situations
• Difficulty in building and maintaining relationships due to constant demands or need for attention
• Inability to recognize or respect others' boundaries and personal space
• Overwhelming and draining energy from others
• Being perceived as selfish or self-centered
• Difficulty in taking criticism or feedback without becoming defensive or argumentative
• Inability to let go of control or delegate tasks, leading to burnout or exhaustion for themselves and others

Positives of being exhausting

Here are some potential positives of being exhausting. Note: These are subjective and some might also be seen as negatives depending on the context.

• Exhausting individuals are typically very persistent and resilient, bouncing back quickly from setbacks and continuing to work hard despite challenges or obstacles.
• They tend to be very passionate about their work or interests, and may inspire others to find their own passions and pursue them with equal vigor.
• They are often great problem-solvers, able to think creatively and outside the box to find solutions to difficult challenges.
• They often have high standards for themselves and others, which can lead to excellence and success in their work or personal pursuits.
• Exhausting people are often highly motivated and driven, pushing themselves to achieve their goals and succeed in their endeavors.
• Exhausting people may also be very detail-oriented and thorough, taking care to ensure that every aspect of their projects or goals is executed to the best of their ability.

Verbal expressions of exhausting characters

Here are some potential expressions used by exhausting characters.

• Interrupting others
• Ignoring social cues to end a conversation
• Talking non-stop
• Rambling on and on
• Being argumentative
• Using a loud or obnoxious tone
• Bragging about oneself
• Repeating oneself constantly
• Never allowing others to speak
• Complaining excessively
• Being overly emotional
• Being overly critical
• Asking too many questions
• Dominating conversations

Relationships of exhausting characters

Here are some ways that being exhausting could affect your character's relationships.

• They may dominate conversations and talk excessively about themselves or their problems.
• They may struggle with boundaries and invade others' personal space or time, leading to feelings of suffocation or resentment.
• They may lack empathy and fail to consider others' feelings or perspectives, making it difficult to connect on a deeper level.
• They may be prone to drama and emotional outbursts, causing others to feel on edge and uncertain.
• They may be unreliable or flaky, causing frustration and disappointment when plans fall through.
• They may have a tendency to be controlling or manipulative, causing tension and conflict in relationships.
• They may be overly critical or demanding of others, leaving them feeling drained and inadequate.

Examples from books of characters who are exhausting

• Scarlett O'Hara from "Gone with the Wind" by Margaret Mitchell
• Jay Gatsby from "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• Holden Caulfield from "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger
• Ignatius J. Reilly from "A Confederacy of Dunces" by John Kennedy Toole
• Elizabeth Bennet from "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen (although some readers may find her engaging instead of exhausting)
• Bella Swan from "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer
• Hamlet from "Hamlet" by William Shakespeare
• Humbert Humbert from "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov

It's worth noting that a character can be exhausting for different reasons, such as their personality, their actions, or the way they are written. As a writer, it's important to be aware of how your characters come across to readers and to strive for complexity and nuance rather than one-dimensional traits.

Writing exercises for writing exhausting characters

Here are some writing exercises you might try for learning to write exhausting characters.

• Show the impact of the character's exhaustion on their relationships with others, such as becoming irritable or distant towards loved ones.
• Have the character make a mistake or poor decision due to their exhaustion, such as forgetting an important deadline or taking unnecessary risks.
• Write a conversation where the character's exhaustion causes them to become forgetful or confused.
• Write a scene where the character is forced to take a break or rest due to their exhaustion, and explore their thoughts and feelings during this downtime.
• Write a scene where the character is attempting to complete a physical task, such as hiking a mountain or running a marathon, despite feeling completely drained and exhausted.
• Show the character struggling to stay awake or alert during an important meeting or event.
• Show the physical symptoms of exhaustion, such as slurred speech, trembling hands, or difficulty standing upright.